Louie DeBauchery - Can’t Stomach It

〈verse〉
Feeling real nauseous ‘cause my kids won't know who nana is
Will they be okay if they don’t get the love she used to give?
Why can't i get this through my head? i know this ain't me
Why do i think about dropping dead, am i crazy?
I ask my self, can i go to work there’s no way
I lack the strength and courage it'll take to face another day
Everybody's been here, even my momma and the g.o.a.ts
If you can muster up three cheers to every bad day, here's a toast
Thoughts in my head ricochet like they've got somewhere to go
Intrusive self delusion i'm gon' lose it all and die alone
I was thinking about death for what felt like all too often
Won't settle for a coffin that ain’t off the rails and poppin’
Ethan put it simply, “it's the call to the void.”
The more you try to duck, the harder it is to avoid
So forget about all the things that you used to enjoy, cause if you don’t do nothing bout it, all that love is destroyed
But if i write this down, there's a chance i'd bounce back
I'd just deal the hand i’m dealt and that's a win i'm counting that
Don't let yourself get trapped dark route down that path
Count your blessings if the numbers don't add up, fuck the math!
That's when his life
Took a turn
For the worse
He was cursed to never be brought back
Sad sap lost track
I've been thinking bout him, i was just starting to get to know ben
My first time at the venue was the last show at the rat's den
With his bright and shining smile, he would kindly be the doorman
All it took was one encounter for you to be like “yeah i knew him”
Then a hate-filled thug, took his life for no reason
Made me question mortality as though it were the meaning
Does heaven look like the way it seems when i'm dreaming
Can't imagine how they feel those who loved him really knew him
So i ought to start living, and live it right just for ben
Any day could be our last, cause we really don't know when
I wouldn't say i fear death but there's so much to be done
Deep down i know i'm best when i'm focused on the long run
If you're lost, rewind it
And if i'm gone, don't bother
Here's a chance to live your best life, only fools decline the offer
Most of the time i feel like i might just deserve this
And that little voice creeps in and tends to make me nervous
I've been done dirty, short changed that's for sure
But i'm working on forgiving, and i'm trying to mature
We did what we did almost have no regrets
But i am where i am
For that, i'd do it all again