Alen Riddick - The Retro Game Ballad

〈Verse 1〉
We've got NES, Atari, Mega Drive
All these old plastic boxes make me feel alive
So pick up a game and blow off the cart
I dare you to not feel joy in your heart

〈Verse 2〉
Whether eight, sixteen, or sixty-four bit
Every game on these consoles is a timeless hit
And when it comes to Christmas I have only one mission
And it's to play these games, it's the best tradition

〈Bridge 1〉
But enough of all that, let's get down to business
It's time to embark on a retro gaming Christmas
Do we have to?
Yеs!

〈Verse 3〉
The controllers look neat-o
This is a downgradе〈.?.〉
But they're impossible not to appreciate

〈Verse 4〉
All the pixels and polygons are so damn charming
The resolution hurts my eyes
This is really alarming
〈Verse 5〉
Well if the homegrown stuff just isn't for you
Then try out the Game Boy
The amount of car journeys this got me through

〈Verse 6〉
These classics have stood the test of time
They're old
They're clunky
They are sublime

〈Verse 7〉
Try Mario Party
One, two, or three
Obliterating my palms just isn't for me

〈Verse 8〉
Or Donkey Kong Country
It's really great!
How could you not love it?
I f**king hate it

〈Verse 9〉
Try Mario Paint
You're really grasped by some straws〈.?.〉
Who would want to hire a plumber that draws?
〈Bridge 2〉
Look, these old ass games just aren't for us
Well, too bad, this is a retro gaming Christmas

〈Verse 10〉
Why not try some games that are a little more new?
What part of that sounds appealing to you?
Super Mario Party adds loads to the mix!
This game is abysmal compared to six
The Switch must have lots of stuff you like to play〈.?.〉
Not around Christmas, what do you want me to say?
Oh hey, why not play Chibi-Robo Zip Lash?
Don't ever talk to me about that trash!
Alright then, Ultra Smash has a variety of courses!
Or you could always just play Sonic Forces