Blood Girl - Sinking

So this is the first time i dreamt that you raped me
I'm used to the nightmares i remember them faintly
I couldn’t really breathe 'cause your body was too heavy
I tapped on your shoulder as to ask you to not break me

I woke up in cold sweats the dream lasted weeks
Standing on the train station holding back tears
Dream became reality and reality too real
So i just laid in silence and waited to not feel

And i'm pretending to be ok when i know that i am not
I am cutting so much lately everything i see is blood
And i am waiting at the bus stop i am sitting on a chair
Everything around me is moving and i'm barely here

I skipped school again today
Like all the other times
Where i just choose to lay in bed
Instead of waking up and doing things
And trying hard to reach within
To find a tiny piece of me
That isn’t too sick to live

Living is a curse but i’ve committed to the crime
I am here and i am breathing i am doing my time
I am sick of all the waiting but i fear what will come next
I'd like to sit in peace and quiet with a clock that never ticks
And i am tired of my brain and i am tired of myself
I just lay in bed cus everything inside me is a mess
And nothing ever makes me happy except for slitting my own skin
Even though i finally know why it's the painfullest of sins

And i'm pretending to be sleeping when i know that i am not
As to rewrite my own dreams so once i’ve hopefully forgot
Cus my brain likes to take good things i have and quickly make them rot
So i don't like to close my eyes 'cause everything i see is mud

I should just give up today
Like all the other times where i just choose to lay in bed
Instead of doing stuff and being happy
And having hope for something that maybe will come along
Outta my brain like in this song i realise that i'm way more sad
Than i would ever have known had i just stayed in my bed
Watching stupid shows and pretending even to myself
'cause i don't know how i can fix this shit
I don't know why i'm like this
Depression is a hole
And no matter what i do i still sink
I still sink
I still sink

Blood Girl is a 21 year old clown who sings about sadness and existential dread
Welcome to blood world!