Heisenherg - Captain Crug and the Pirate Jokes

How much do pirates charge for earrings?

A buccaneer!


Why wasn't the boy allowed to watch the new pirate movie?

Because it was rated ARRRR!

Why don’t pirates ever finish the alphabet?

They get stuck at C. for years!


How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?

An arm and a leg!


What happened to the brown haired pirate when he fell into the red sea?

He got marooned!

What did the pirate say after his 79th birthday?

Aye matey! (i’m 80!)


What has 8 legs, 8 arms and 8 eyes

8 pirates!


What is a pirates favourite letter?
R?
NO! its the C!


How do you make a pirate furious?

Take away the p!

Why didn’t the pirate shower before he walked the plank?

He knew he’d just wash up on the shore later!


Where can you find a pirate who’s lost his wooden legs?

Right where you left him!


How did the pirates acquire their ship so cheap and so quickly?

They got it on "sail!"


Why would no one on the ship play cards with the pirate?

Because he was always standing on the deck!


Why was the pirates report card so wet?
He made high C’s!


What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot…


Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Well, if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels (baygulls)!


How did the pirate save his drowning mate?

C P ARRRRR


What do dyslexic pirates say?

RRRAAAAAAAAAAA!


What did the ocean say to the pirates as they returned to sea?

NOTHING! it just waved!


And last but not least, i bet everyones asking this one…

Why are pirates called pirates?

They just ARRRRR!!!!!