Mezolith - Alternating between JOYFUL HOPE and SUICIDAL PESSIMISM

Every day is hell
Living like a ghost inside a shell
It ain't hard to tell
Life's a joke so fkkn kill yourself
They won't miss you when you die
Just what you provide
So i don't waste my time, doing shit that i don't fkkn like
Travel through my mind, labyrinth with no exit, maze with no prize
Only endless darkness, you can see it, look into my eyes
Don't try asking why, the truth will only make you wana cry
So i live a lie and put a mask on when i wana hide
One day imma have the confidence to blow my brains out
So start growing the stomach that it takes to wash the stains out
A hole inside my head's the only way to get the pain out
If your mouth is open then you better keep my name out

No one has my back, there is no one else nobody cares
Hear somebody say my name, turn around, nobody's there
Am i going crazy? am i just insane? schizophrenic?
Losing sleep, every day. brain decay. narcoleptic
I cannot see myself going through every day doing shit that i hate
What do you say? fkk what you think! all my friends plastic with how much they fake
All that they say, so i get baked, try to forget my regrets and mistakes
Cannot escape the guilt and the shame, my mind and will to live starting to break
I am not seeing a reason for me to keep living and breathing
I'm seething and bleeding out all of my feelings these demons stay leeching
And feed off my semen yet i cannot leave them, i need them to lead me
To victory, things that i dream to complete, if i fail to succeed i will fall to my feet
Or i'll lie on the street hoping i'll be deceased and clean of my disease