Sans Beanstalk - Deanomania

Got myself a lovely semi new build house
Got a largely silicone implant spouse
Look out my head you know it's a skin fade
Grey Audi A3 sitting on my driveway
You know it's financed to pay it off monthly
Gymshark to the pub cause it's so comfy
Got a tattoo sleeve and one on my hands
One of them says R.I.P. Nan
She's not dead yet it's a long term plan
I wear ASOS the Mrs. wears Boohoo
Essex or Manchester's where we wanna move to
Love her so much yeah she is a diamond
I'd break up with her to go on Love Island
I'm sorry babe I might get sponsored by protein powder
I sell cars or work for my father
Once a month I go Miller and Carter
20 pounds steak and a flatbread starter
Got a spray tan but I wanna go darker
Teachers said that I wouldn't be shit
Now I'm in recruitment earning commish
I like Tottenham or Arsenal and girls named Chelsea
Yo Wayne Lineker Can I get a selfie?
Crush velvet all over my sofa
Girl's dream car is a white Range Rover
But for now she's got a Fiat 500
I'm on a night out, oi mate Dino's just chundered
Oi lads you won't fucking believe it mate Dino's only gone and been sick ain't he
Oh brother brother bro bro brother lads brother
I'm with Dino, Smithy, Chaz and Big John
God's plan by Drake our favourite song
Going All Bar One where we belong
Doing more cocaine than Neil Armstrong
It's the lads night out but you know what they say
What happens at happy hour stays at Turtle Bay
The lads are looking dapper but I'm looking nicer
Special toothpaste to make my teeth whiter
I like these jeans but I want them tighter
Don't smoke guy vape don't need a lighter
Flashing my wallet just to excite her
Two drinks in and I think I'm a fighter
I could knock out Anthony Joshua
I don't think he's a very good boxer
Strong opinion on sports
Only sport I play is picking up sorts
Got veneers and I'm saving for a hair transplant
I'm really sad that they close down Topman
Traveled the world from Kos to Ibiza
Me and the lads are ocean beachers
Me and the Mrs Luton to Dubai
Matching tracksuits when we fly
Adidas sliders on the plane
My entire life is so mundane
Me and the lads all exactly the same
Yeah yeah Tom's in it he is sick